YouTube Ad’s

One of the most annoying things is when a YouTube ad comes along and ruins the flow of what I’m watching. There’s one in ad in particular and it had this is when this dentist kind of shouting at you.

He starts it by saying if you have perfect straight teeth then hit the skip button this isn’t for you.

Oh man the satisfaction I get from skipping that button then gliding my tongue along my front teeth is incredible. A goddamn wave of smugness and euphoria courses through my veins. That’s a weird sales technique isn’t it? just to alienate your potential clients. According to these guys you’re either

A.

Too good for us and take your good teeth and move along

Or

B.

You’ve got a face full of gnarly teeth and oh boy we got the solution for you. Do you hate looking in the mirror well get you head full of teeth down to us and we’ll fix the mess that is your mouth.

YouTube ads in general suck they especially ruin the flow of a podcast and. The podcasts with ad breaks at the start throughout and at the end too just ruins the flow and the sponsors they bust up the flow. That’s why I love the Joe Rogan podcast. Now I know they need ad revenue and it keeps the show going I get it I do I honestly do but its so annoying man. Its always the small things they just wreck the flow of the conversation and stories.

Trauma bond

There’s no stronger bond than shared trauma

it can bring close to someone that’s been through the shit you have,

This year the entire world shut down

We were all locked down

Death

And

Isolation

We’re all going through something that hasn’t taken place in over a century

Whether we want to admit it or not, we’re all traumatised by this

Some more than others, some add this to their old trauma and keep on keepin on. There’s one thing I hope to come out of all of this

If we can’t get along and bond over our shared trauma from this fucking Covid year it’s not looking good for us.

If we can be kinder to each other after this we’ll be happier for it.

Tramore

It’s 8pm on Sunday evening. The weather is calm and it’s nice out. Me and my dog Charlie take a walk and of course he’s excited

It’s his first time on the beach and he loves it

I take him off the lead and he walks along beside me

He sniffs around the sand

Runs to me with a crab leg in his mouth and I’m thinking what the fuck Charles put that down man,

He loves to run through the foam along the water

He looks up at me every few steps with the biggest smile on his face

I’m picking up some rocks to take home and I find a nice spot on the sand and I sit down

The sun is setting and the waves are smoothly coming in closer and closer

The beach is almost empty now,

Me and Charlie sitting there watching the waves

And the surfers

And the sun going down

And the sea air is so fresh

I sat there with my little friend and time stands still, I feel so small watching the sea in front of me

We sat there beside each other

We sat and we watched

Together

The fixer

Hank drives in his car along the Irish coastline. The waves beat against the shore. Hank drives along listening to Bob Dylan on the radio. He’s a man in his early thirties. A good looking guy, he sparks a cigarette as he looks out onto the coastline.

The sun glistens off of his expensive sunglasses as he speeds along the coast. His Maclaren too glistens in the sunlight. Hank smokes his cigarette and pulls over on the side of the beach. The sun shines along his windscreen. Unlike the usual weather it’s a beautiful day out. Hank walks along the beach and talks to woman he sees walking her dog. They exchange pleasantries and he watches her as she walks away.

Hank gets into his car and continues on his drive. His phone rings and he answers. A woman’s voice is on the line

Hey hun how’s your day going?

It’s all good babe how are you?

I’m great doll, you’ll be glad to hear you’re daughter got an A on her English assignment. She wrote an essay on the Kennedy assassination and had some interesting theories that the teacher loved

A grin breaks out on Hank’s face

I always loved English.

She can’t wait to see you later when you’re home.

Don’t worry I’ll be home in a couple of hours babe

I love you!

Talk to you later sweetheart.

Hank continues his drive. There’s a break in the weather. Rain beats against the windshield of his car as he drives. He slows down. Parks his car near the woods beside a beautiful house.

Hank sits in his car. Turns off the radio. He sits in silence for five minutes.

Hank opens his glove box. He puts on a pair of gloves and stares at his reflection in the mirror. He gets out of his car and walks towards the beautiful countryside home.

Hank walks around the back of the house onto the deck. He looks around and smiles at the garden and water feature. Hank opens the back door and makes his way through the kitchen. He enters the sitting room, he hears a piano playing on the upstairs landing.

He walks up the stairs and sees a man playing the piano. His eyes are closed and he plays Beethoven moonlight sonata. The song echoes through the quiet country manner.

Hank’s makes his way to the piano. He begins to remove something from his suit. A 1911 handgun with silencer then puts it to the back of the man’s head. The man opens his eyes as he hears the gun click back.

BANG! The gunshot echoes through the house. The flash lights up the entire room even with the silencer Hank hears the bullet blow through the back of the man’s head.

Hank’s phone rings

Daddy! When are you coming home I have something to tell you

I’ll be home soon sweetheart, I love you baby.

Hank goes to his car to grab cleaning pruducts. Bleach, disinfectant and a black bag he prepared earlier.

Hank drags the man to the bathroom. He looks at the lifeless body. He sees no life in the mans eyes. He takes a saw out of his bag. It’s clean and new. Never been used and uncertain of its future in disposing of this bloodied corpse. Hank looks into the man’s eyes. The empty stare. The lifeless look into his own eyes.

Hank begins to cut into the man’s right arm. Then the left. The legs and the head for the finale. He places everything into the bag and begins to disinfect the room.

He has chains and weights in his car. This isn’t his first time. He’s grown numb to the remorse. It’s just another pay check for him, another favour in his pocket. He’s sold his soul long ago and the ends justify the means for him. He’s become more powerful a man than he ever aimed to be. He’s sacrificed more than most are willing to.

Hank gets into his car. The man in the boot. Its 8:45pm he needs to get home he needs to see his family. His world waits for him. He lights a cigarette and turns the ignition. Lawyers, Guns and money plays on the radio. He smirks as he drives out of the man’s home.

Hank drives down the quiet country road. He drives towards his family the wind blows through the open window as he smokes his cigarette. He looks in the mirror at his own reflection.

Hank drives home and looks at the road ahead.

I’m making a Documentary

It was in March this year when I had an idea one night to write a script for a mockumentary about a lizard monster lurking in a local forest in Ireland. Who knows where these strange ideas come from but I thought it was a good or at least unusual way to spend my time. I thought it was interesting.

Anyway the idea of making some Mythology for Ireland because it’s always the fucking leprauchaun that’s associated with us here and why not have a lizard humanoid type creature in our woods. Initially though I was thinking ohh Ian do a bigfoot style creature but a lizard man on the loose in Ireland for centuries now that’s something that I couldn’t get out of my mind. I became obsessed with the idea anyway and put all my thoughts down on paper.

I said it to a friend of mine who was as excited as I was and the first night we spoke on the phone and drank whiskey until 4am forming a back story on this creature. My girlfriend was on board and the ideas came flowing from her head, they were in one hundred percent of the way.

Okay Ian

You’ve got your idea

You’ve written a script

You’ve got a camera operator to film it

You’ve got an actor to star across you

I got my camera equipment, sound equipment, props and I was on my way and ready to film. I put the call out to some of my friends for small parts in the film. We shot for days here and there as much as possible. I had some people record their interviews from home because of Lockdown and social distancing but we conquered each challenge in our path.

As I write this I have three more scenes to film and we’ve edited roughly twenty five minutes together. It’s been an interesting and exciting creative experience the past six months. Of course work, illness and Covid 19 got in the way and slowed us down slightly.

When I’ve got the finished product done I’ll upload it to YouTube and see what happens.

It’s really gotten the creative juices flowing,

Maybe another documentary or a short film in the future, it’s all I’m able to focus on these days.

The Risk

Take the risk

Ask the first question

Take the drink and have strange conversations

Find yourself

Be strange,

Be fucked up,

Be real,

Take the risk

Get out there, be who you are

You may lose friends

Your father may be embarrassed by you

Be you

Find you

Take the risk

Get out there into the world

Find love

Find heartbreak

Find fights and fuck ups

Find what you’re made of

Take the risk

Get on stage

Get on people’s nerves

Get in people’s heart

Take the risk

Eat well

Go hungry

Make a meal for someone you love,

even if it’s yourself

Take the risk

Love someone

Love a stranger

Love someone who hasn’t love

Love yourself

Take the risk

Take that fucking risk and be who you are

Be you,

Love yourself

You may flinch, you may be scared at what you see and find. You may see the person who is closest to you taken over by darkness. You may be taken by the darkness.

Stare into that dark abyss the fucked up nightmare that is our world, find who you are. You may have sleepless nights, dark thoughts and fucked up feelings and memories, we all do, I know I do

Hug the cactus

You may find darkness and emptiness or light and love despite everything that surrounds us. BUT

You’ll never know unless you

Take that risk

Take the risk

My Quarantine watchlist

It’s been a long few months since this whole global pandemic hit us all and we’ve been stuck in our homes.

The most that I was able to do was go out to work and go out out to Tesco for some shopping. Now I’ve been busy I’ve done some work in the garden, I painted, did jigsaws, wrote a script and improved at cooking and drinking too for that matter.

BUT

One thing I’ve done is watched a lot of television and film. I’ve been able to watch so much and catch up on what I’ve missed.

SEINFELD

One of the greatest things I’ve discovered and really gotten into is Seinfeld. Such a clever and hilarious show it’s been a brilliant bit of escapism and reliable for a laugh right from the top.

COMMUNITY

Another great show is Community not only did I fall in love with this incredible show in particular seasons 1- 3 are sheer perfection. One of the funniest, most random and original shows I’ve ever watched. Can’t recommend it enough to everyone.

My top 10 shows during Quarantine

  1. The Sopranos
  2. Seinfeld
  3. F is for family
  4. Its always sunny in Philadelphia
  5. The Ranch
  6. The Simpsons
  7. Lethal Weapon
  8. Family Guy
  9. Parks and Recreation
  10. Community

I’ve watched some incredible new and old films as well as re watching some old classics. It’s been a great time for film fans aside from being able to go to the cinema of course.

I’ve watched the Shining over five times this year. Three times in one week at one stage the film truly had me in it’s grips. I woke one night screaming after going into room 237 in my sleep and it was a wild wonderful ride and I’m chasing the dragon ever since on that one for sure.

The King of Staten Island

What a film! Comedy, drama and lots of hanging out this film is going to have a similar faith to comedies such as funny people or the other guys where there’s a cult following of fans. With such an incredible cast, Pete Davidson, the incredible Marisa Tomei and a great performance by the epic Bill Burr. A great film about a loveable fuck up trying to figure out his life.

My top 10 new films during Quarantine (new to me)

  1. The King of Staten Island
  2. Captain Fantastic
  3. What’s eating Gilbert Grape
  4. Midnight Cowboy
  5. Doctor Strangelove
  6. Longshot
  7. The Gentlemen
  8. The Impractical Jokers movie
  9. Coffee and Kareem
  10. Ready player one

My favorite rewatched films over Quarantine

  1. The Shining
  2. Doctor Sleep
  3. 2001 a space Odyssey
  4. A futile and stupid gesture
  5. Pulp Fiction
  6. Braveheart
  7. Fear and loathing in Las Vegas
  8. Jurassic Park
  9. Indiana Jones
  10. Ted

That’s it for now. It’s been great watching so much and reading, finding new music but I want to go outside again and move freely.

The simple pleasures of making a sandwich

There’s an incredible sense of achievement in making a good sandwich. You’ve created something and that’s not a bad day’s work.

I grab my sweet chilli chicken and cut that up,

Chop Peppers, Jalepanos and add some cheese

Next is your sauces for me I go to sweet chilli sauce, I really want to feel it on the way in and out of body.

Into the George Foreman for 120 seconds then flip it for another 60 seconds

Take it out, cut into two triangles it tastes better than cut into squares. Now you’ve got yourself a meal

Grab a drink and if the Weather’s just right sit in the back garden and enjoy your creation.

Tombstone 1993

Directed by: George P. Cosmatos & Kevin Jarre

Written by: Kevin Jarre

Starring: Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Sam Elliott, Bill Paxton, Michael Biehn, Powers Boothe, Billy Zane, Billy Bob Thornton, Thomas Hayden Church, Paula Malcomson, Stephen Lang, Dana Delaney, Robert Mitchum and Charlton Heston.

Set in America in the 1880’s we follow the events proceeding and the fallout of the infamous shootout at the O. K. Corral in the Arizona Town of Tombstone. We follow the Earp family as they move to the town of Tombstone to become wealthy, retire and spend their days away from the office of Sheriff.

What I love about Tombstone

Kurt Russell’s moustache

Sam Elliott!

The tone of the film is perfect

It’s insanely rewatchable, I’ve seen this film at least 4 or 5 times and each time it feels fresh and exciting

Tombstone is without a doubt one of the best and most rewatchable westerns of all time it isn’t your usual paint by numbers film either. From an acting standpoint it’s an incredible ensemble cast that works beautifully together and the chemistry between the Earp brothers is incredible. But with Kurt Russell, Bill Paxton and Sam Elliott portraying them who can be surprised.

Kurt Russell turns in one of his greatest performances as Wyatt Earp. He’s a flawed man, he isn’t the mystical and invincible hero that he is often portrayed as. He has selfish reasons for moving to the town of Tombstone, he wants his family to get rich and live a peaceful life and not be the sheriff, enforcing law and order wherever he goes.

Sam Elliott also shines and gives an inspired portrayal of Virgil Earp. The gravelly voice and Elliott’s appearance is as wild west and authentic as if the casting director went back to the Wild West and got him there in person.

Val Kilmer gives a performance full of quirks, style, charisma and one that is solely unique to this film. Kilmer is Doc Holliday and portrays the dying man with that movie star charisma that can’t be learnt. Holliday is dying from Tuberculosis when we meet him and his condition does not improve. Doc lives each day as if it is his last and it potentially could be.

Doc Holliday

I’m your huckleberry”

One of the greatest and most unusual yet iconic lines uttered in film history.

While most films that revolve around the O. K Corral it is the climactic scene of the film. Where Tombstone differs is that the infamous shootout is almost merely a jumping off point for the charge Wyatt Earp led against the cowboys at the time. The main part of the film is the fight between Wyatt’s group of sheriffs against the cowboys and it is a glorious depiction of the events that occurred.

Tombstone is a western with all the classic Western thropes we’ve all come to love. It is a film with subtlety, depth and fleshed out and fully realised characters.

Tombstone is a must watch for film and western lovers.

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